


Tangled Spines (High Above the Highway Aisle)

by superscavenger



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Comfort, F/F, Heavy Angst, Mentions of Death, Mentions of Violence, you may cry but these two are forever so it's okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 05:58:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13757751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superscavenger/pseuds/superscavenger
Summary: Sara finally tells Ava the truth, and sees the scars of Sara's past.  Well, some of them anyway.  Complete fic now, but may add more chapters.Prompts from kirsty 585 and anonymous.Title taken from Holocene by Bon Iver.Wanna cry some more? Listen to that when you read it.





	Tangled Spines (High Above the Highway Aisle)

**Author's Note:**

> This was hard to write. I'm emotionally drained, so I hope you guys enjoy it, or at least cry with me.

The first few times they're together, they're in the dark. 

 

Ava is quite aware that it is not on accident; she'll notice how Sara closes the curtains in her apartment extra tight, and how the lights aren't on at all when they're on the Waverider.

 

But there's not much escape when Sara is there, dressed in only her sports bra, her back to Ava as the other woman walks in the room from the shower. 

 

The automatic door closes behind her, and Sara knows there's not really much point in trying to cover up now. 

 

Ava doesn't speak; she only looks at Sara's back, marred with scars of all shapes and sizes, and can only imagine the terror that comes with each one. Sara doesn't even want to think of turning around, of facing Ava with this; she's so scared of what the other woman will say. 

 

It's not that people haven't seen Sara's scars before; hell, of course they have, her whole team basically has. But when it's Ava...someone who she has, whether she likes to admit it or not, envisioned spending the rest of her life with, she's terrified.

 

Because she feels that they will become Ava's burden to bear, and God, she wants _anything_ but that.

 

She finally decides to turn around, and she knows there are unshed tears in her eyes. 

 

'Sara...'

 

'Please, don't.' 

 

Sara ducks her head, not being able to keep her emotions in check.  She's never showed this much emotion to someone in ages, not since she and Rip talked about Laurel. 

 

'Look at me, Sara.' 

 

Sara reluctantly lifts her head up, and Ava is closer than she was before, and she gently puts her hands on Sara's upper arms, almost holding her in place; somehow, for once, Sara doesn't feel trapped by someone's hold. 

 

'It's just me.' 

 

'Just you,' Sara says, trailing off as she laughs humourlessly, carefully stepping around Ava to put her dirty top in the laundry basket on the other side of the bed. 

 

'That's the point Ava, it's not just you.  You're...I don't want to ruin this with all the shit that I've been through. I don't want pity.' 

 

She goes to sit heavily on the edge of it, wiping her nose unceremoniously before Ava kneels in front of her, eyes level with her torso if she'd been sitting straight up.  

 

Right now, though, she's looking directly into eyes that Ava feels like she's falling into, and won't ever stop falling. 

 

'Sara, you have been through more in three years than most people go through in three lifetimes.  You have some scars to prove it.  But you know what the thing about that is, that makes them so important? They're the reason you're still here. Because you got up, and you kept going.  Hell, you even got up out of the grave, and hit play as if you'd been on pause for a year.  You overcame so much, because your resilience? God, it's astounding, and incredible, and I do not pity you, Sara Lance.  I am in awe, ' Ava says, and Sara's silent sob makes her voice crack.  'of you.' 

 

She leans up, bringing Sara's forehead down to her, kissing it softly, slowly, her lips like satin on Sara's skin.  

 

Taking her hands away from Sara's head, she looks at the scars on Sara's torso now.  There is one on her left side; a slash, that winds all the way from her back, up towards just under the left side of her chest.  Tentatively, she begins to run her thumb across it as her other hand grips her other side gently.  

 

'2008,' Sara says suddenly, her voice barely above a whisper. 

 

'Ra's Al Ghul was a cruel man.  Honorable for the most part, but still, wildly cruel.  When he first trained me, he was more than harsh.  We were doing spear work in the main room, and he got the drop on me; I held him off for more than most of the new recruits, but it wasn't enough.  He slashed me pretty deep, I was in the infirmary for two weeks.  I was meant to be there for a month, but I knew there would be no respect, for myself, or even from the Ra's if I stayed that long.  I got up, walked into the throne room where they were sparring, and bested three recruits in less than 30 seconds.  The Ra's knew not to challenge my loyalty after that.' 

 

Ava looks at Sara, who is avoiding her eye, and then makes the hesitant decision; she lowers her head to Sara's abdomen, and begins to run her lips over the scar.  Sara straightens a little, giving Ava a little more room, and threads her hands into Ava's hair gently.  There is nothing sexual about's happening; it is simply comfort, sharing, being close. 

 

She takes her face away, and Sara lowers her hands to the back of her neck, gripping almost for dear life at this woman who is slowly becoming her lifeblood; a saviour that, while she did not need, she would always be grateful to have. 

 

Ava then looks over to the right side, just above Sara's waistband; there's another slash, not as deep or angry as the other scar, but still enough to be noticed. 

 

Sara follows her eyes, seeing how Ava is looking at it with such intent, such detail.

 

‘2011, a year before I returned to Star City. I was in Jakarta, I’d been commissioned to take out an older heir of a Fortune 500 company and his bodyguard was a lot more difficult to get out of the way than I thought. I got him in the end, but not before he tore my oblique muscle with his knife. It was my first solo mission; I had to camp out in an abandoned hut on the beach for a few days, before the League noticed I was gone.’ 

 

Ava leans down, and Sara rests both her hands behind her, leaning back to give Ava more space. 

 

Ava kisses the scar, peppering it from left to right, letting her lips linger a little more on the last kiss. 

 

Sara closes her eyes as they sting with tears once more, in awe of the comfort of the whole gesture.

 

She takes one of her hands away from the bed, and pushes Ava’s hair out of her face, seeing Ava’s soft smile underneath it.

 

‘You’re the strongest person I have ever met in my life, Sara.’ 

 

Sara scoffs humourlessly, a couple of years falling from her eyes.

 

‘You know that’s saying something, right? I’ve met Joan of Arc and John Cena.’ 

 

Sara laughs through her tears, Ava’s heart swelling at her spark returning somewhat. 

 

She knows that these next scars are the ones that remind Sara the most of the terror in her life. The three small, white scars, puncture wounds that have clearly been made by an Arrow.

 

‘October 8th, 2013,’ Sara says, almost choking on her words. She blows out a shaky breath.

 

‘Sara -‘ 

 

‘No. You need to hear this,’ Sara says with shaken conviction. ‘I want you to know me. And this is a part of who I am.’ 

 

Ava puts her hand on Sara’s cheek, and she feels the wetness of tears on her face as she swipes her thumb to and fro. 

 

‘I was passing through the city on a job,’ Sara begins, regulating her nestling as Ava takes her hands off her cheek, Sara sitting back up and gripping both Ava’s hands to steady herself. 

 

‘I went to see Laurel, because I’d really been missing her, like a lot. We talked on a rooftop, the one near where the Merlyn Global Group building used to be.  She left, and I turned around...I just saw...' Sara is struggling now, and Ava keeps her hands steady because she knows Sara wants to say this.  It's just so hard to look at her while she does. 

 

But she will, because she knows she needs to be strong for Sara in this moment. 

 

'Thea was standing there, bow and arrow in her hand.  I couldn't even ask her what she was doing there before she'd...I um...I took a step back, as each one hit me, and then I was falling. It was uh...it was quick, I didn't feel anything apart from the wounds.  When I hit the ground everything went black.  

 

'It felt like...being asleep, for a while. Then I woke up, in a cabin on this mountain. I was alone, and I didn't need sustenance, or anything like that, and I was at peace, I was okay...but I could feel a hole in my chest, something I didn't think would be filled. It was probably...god, I don't know, maybe from the killing. Maybe from not making amends with people before I'd gone. All I knew was it felt like it was too soon.  

 

'Suddenly, I felt like I was being pulled from the cabin, and I was then just in Nanda Parbat, just like that.  But it was like...it was like I was just watching, from my eyes but I couldn't react.  The soulless monster had just taken control.  I couldn't get out.  It was horrible.  I could only watch while...' 

 

Sara takes a break, letting a sob go through her lips.  

 

'Sara please, if this is too much we can stop.' 

 

She grips harder onto Ava's hands, and the other woman's face has tears streaming down it now.  Sara knows her own face is too. She lets go of one of Ava's hands, hastily wiping her face before continuing. 

 

'I kept trying to tear Thea apart.  Then I was unconscious again, I thought they'd killed me; I wasn't sure, and I wasn't going to blame them. But all of a sudden, I felt Laurel and Ollie pulling me out of the darkness.

 

'And I woke up.  I was me, and I was whole again.  And my father was there. And Laurel...'

 

Sara starts to cry silently now, and she collapses back onto the bed, dejected and tired.  She can feel Ava's lips tracing those three scars on her abdomen.  

 

Then, the lips reach hers, kissing her languidly, chastely, easily. 

 

Ava turns over onto her back, and Sara folds into her, her head on Ava's chest. 

 

'You are strong, and beautiful, and you will be able to overcome everything else that comes your way.' 

 

'How do you know that?' 

 

'I'll be here.' 

 

'Yeah?' 

 

'Oh, you could do it without me, Lance...but I'll be here.' 

 

Sara feels the weight fall away from her shoulders.


End file.
